I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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