I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
