i just wanna soil my oats bro
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize