He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You're a waste of cheezeits
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
