Say something about gay babies.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
