He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
