We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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