Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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