There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
