The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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