idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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