if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
