New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
