She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize