yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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