She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
