One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
