Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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