Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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