My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
