My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
