I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize