your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
