I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
