Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
