All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
