it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
