let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
