I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
