i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
