Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
