ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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