we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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