Only a mothe r could love this liver
I looked at my own cervix.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
