Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
