Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
