Cold hands, warm shart.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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