Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
