I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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