Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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