The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
