READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Be still, my beating vagina.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
