i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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