remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
