i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
