somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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