Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
