who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize