The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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