just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
