Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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