His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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