So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
