i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
