I CAN MOONWALK!
Screwed.edu
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
