worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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