I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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