My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
