yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
