i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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