Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
A bitchslap is in order.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
