she looked like the before picture.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
