Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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