HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
