we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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