I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The ass gains better be worth it
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