I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
