You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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