They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
