Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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