Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
