would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
