All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
