I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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