We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
