Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
