thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
